Reef Tank or Wife

[jccaclimber]

Originally Posted by fishkeeprian

Ive tried Ron, she doesn't think owning a reef is a very manly hobbie to have. She just sees it as a money pit, and moans constantly about my equipment, water change buckets etc.

Find a way to put your fish stuff away. Personally there's always a taken apart something or other, a water change bucket, step ladder, or something fish related out in that room. That said, I recognize that long term I'm going to need to find a way to make all the maintenance invisible, have a woodworker make a nice stand, etc. While my wife has no attraction to tanks, she isn't opposed to them either. She is opposed to it looking like a construction zone rather than living picture.

[JamesHolt]

Originally Posted by jccaclimber

She is opposed to it looking like a construction zone rather than living picture.

Wife's #1 complaint about the tanks..
Mine enjoys the tanks but not what they cost sometimes, still trying to convince her that we need one in the living room..

[ca1ore]

Originally Posted by Cheeselady

That's a good question, and something I've wondered myself.

It's been my observation that many hobbies are dominated by men.

Cars, brewing, fish, trains, model planes, etc.

I'm curious why more women aren't getting into these things.

I always used to argue with my wife that women don't actually have hobbies. It's not true, of course, but I used to enjoy arguing the point. Maybe that's why she's an ex-wife ..... hmmn!

I do think the techy aspect of the hobby appeals to the male psychy though.

[nursedude]

I guess I am truly lucky. My wife and I love this hobby and not know how much it "actually" costs. In fact, it is a dangerous hobby because neither of us will play devils advocate for purchases, which leads to spending lots-O-money.

[crabbydan]

My wife is fine with it. We have 3 checking accounts (ours, hers and mine). Ours pays the bills and living essentials. Mine gets used on fish, toys and gifts for her. Hers is used for nails, pedicures, beauty salons, purses, shoes and occasionally a gift for me. Works real well for us that way. I honestly think she spends more on her list than I do on mine but we dont look or ask about eachothers "RatHole" of money.

[WatDatThing]

My wife doesn't mind and doesn't get involve with my new hobby. She never ask me how much I spent because I"m the frugal one. When she complains about me spending too much time going to the lfs, I asked "would you rather I hangout with my guy friends and get drunk?" Sometimes her family gossip about some guy cheating on his wife and such. She asked me if I have a girl friend on the side. I said yeap and point my finger at the fish tank. LOL.
Seriously, you gotta put women in their place. Let them chose. I can be drinking, doing drug, gambling, smoking, cheating, or having a fish tank. Everyone gotta have a hobby. Reefing is a pretty healthy one.
My wife used to cook when she feels like it. One day I started talking about a girl I met at work and how well she cooks. My wife started cooking more regularly and pack my lunch. LOL.

[madducks42]

Originally Posted by Cheeselady

That's a good question, and something I've wondered myself.



It's been my observation that many hobbies are dominated by men.



Cars, brewing, fish, trains, model planes, etc.



I'm curious why more women aren't getting into these things.

Threads like these for one, lol. I breed boa constrictors, love cars, and know enough about brewing that I'm too lazy to do it but will happily drink what my friends make. There are plenty of women already into these things. They just don't always join a forum because it may be awesome and you might get to have conversations with others who share your interests and are respectful. Or you'll bounce back and forth between mansplainers and creepers.

[Zoregon]

i am the wife so anything goes with the tank. As for my horses, well let's just say we agree to disagree. That said he has two race bikes, a dirt bike and a road bike.

I figure we can retire when we're both around 90 lol

[bnumair]

mine dont care, dont ask nor bother me. infact i can count on her feeding my tank if needed.

[deputydawg88]

Originally Posted by fishkeeprian

Moan Moan Moan, that’s all I get these days!

How much did that’s cost?, why you doing that?, Your obsessed the list goes on!

Who else struggles with the other half and their tank?


Wife or tank?

Can't say I struggle too much but the wife calls my tank my 'true love' and complains that I sit staring at it. Sometimes when I come downstairs she jokes that I've come down to check on the tank and not her.

I often talk at her about what I'm doing with the tank and why I'm doing it and she just smiles and nods, while not really interested. I let her name the fish in my tank; I had a bicolour blenny, who unfortunately jumped while we were out at a pub quiz and managed to get through the small clearance between the glass cover and the tank walls, that she named "James T. Franco" (James T for short), I have a Mandarin named "Zorn" and the bicolour blenny was replaced with a lawnmower blenny named Ian McKellen as he bears a striking resemblance to Gandalf.

[DancingShark]

I will have to admit it was a slow process of my wife opening up to me spending money on equipment for the tank. With out the omg, or that chuckle that tells you well if you want it buy it but I am not on board. The more she learned about it the more she learned about the equipment and what everything did the more she accepted the cost associated with having a reef tank.

At first she would not let go of the fact that live rock cost so much. She simply saw them as rocks. She told me once we have enought rocks out side you could have pick up. She saw that is just sand and nothing more.

But once every individual equipment started working together she started seeing Beauty in my childhood fascination with tanks especially marine tanks She slowly started showing her interest and inputting suggestions of what kind of corals for fishes she wanted to see in the tank.
At the time she did not understand that not every animal could coexist in such a small place so it was struggle when I first had to say no and then deal with her disappointment of what she thought was me just saying no her. I slowly very slowly started educating her about the different types of fishes, corals, what can and can't coexist.
I even printed out a chart for her so she could double check what kind of fishes are compatible with each other.
Something like this helps a lot.


now now days I am the one that has to stop her from spending too much when we go to Frag swaps or local fish stores. I still need to remind her that she needs to introduce livestock very slowly and that the quarantine process is very important.

This is her purchase about 2 weekends ago.
[IMG][/IMG]

Over all she never has tried to tell me what to do. Whether it be cars, electronic or anything else. As long as you do your job in maintaining your house hold and saving momey i dont see why anyone should tell someone how to live. And for that I thank her.