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Unread 04/21/2017, 02:20 AM   #1
fishkeeprian
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Reef Tank or Wife

Moan Moan Moan, that’s all I get these days!

How much did that’s cost?, why you doing that?, Your obsessed the list goes on!

Who else struggles with the other half and their tank?


Wife or tank?


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Unread 04/21/2017, 02:46 AM   #2
bif24701
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Luckily I don't get asked usually. My wife likes my hobby, in fact our whole family has tanks. My wife has a 125 Discus tank, beautiful. My son has two, 10 gallon glow fish tank and a 29 gallon biocube with some mushrooms and Zoas.

I've spent a lot on my tank. My wife doesn't know what I've spent on most stuff but has an idea of the costs. The two AP700s were a tough sell. She likes fish so no problem if o want to buy them but if I want to spend $100 on a 1" frag she's like ***!? Lol. So normally I have to buy them when she isn't around or hide the costs some how.

I assume I'm lucky this way because many I'm sure don't have spouses whom are even half as supportive.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 03:02 AM   #3
robbous
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My reef tank :-) let's just say I wouldn't be owning a 500 gallon system and turned a dining room into the fish tank room if I was married. I'll never be told what I can do again!


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Unread 04/21/2017, 04:35 AM   #4
A sea K
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My wife likes our tank and as a result does not have any issues with how or what I spend to keep it up and running. As far as $100 dollar frags go, I have an issue with that myself so I'm not really a care free spender anyway.

Now, if she did take issue with it and I had to decide between her or the tank, that would be an easy decision to make but tough to carry out.


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Current Tank Info: 30gal Deep Blue rimless 9/10/2014, 80gal Deep Blue rimless 40gal sump/refugium 9/11/16 LPS reef, 2 x Kessil A160 with a single Maxspect Razor, RO Prime 150INT skimmer, Sicce 3 return pump, Vortech MP40 and MP10
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Unread 04/21/2017, 04:41 AM   #5
fishkeeprian
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A sea K View Post
My wife likes our tank and as a result does not have any issues with how or what I spend to keep it up and running. As far as $100 dollar frags go, I have an issue with that myself so I'm not really a care free spender anyway.

Now, if she did take issue with it and I had to decide between her or the tank, that would be an easy decision to make but tough to carry out.

Just change the locks so she can't get in


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Unread 04/21/2017, 04:45 AM   #6
A sea K
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Thats too funny but in all honesty I would be keeping the wife. I have far more time and money invested in her then I ever would my tank.


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Current Tank Info: 30gal Deep Blue rimless 9/10/2014, 80gal Deep Blue rimless 40gal sump/refugium 9/11/16 LPS reef, 2 x Kessil A160 with a single Maxspect Razor, RO Prime 150INT skimmer, Sicce 3 return pump, Vortech MP40 and MP10
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Unread 04/21/2017, 04:46 AM   #7
cincyjim
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I'm lucky in that my wife enjoys the tank. It was actually her idea to get a saltwater tank not mine. As far as spending goes though, she just rolls her eyes lol. As long as I can still get her what she wants then I'm good to go... happy wife happy life


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Unread 04/21/2017, 05:06 AM   #8
Wizardsrelm
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My wife bought me a used awesome 150g setup, she now has a 60g cube, and we just got 30g frag tank, she supports any thing I do or want as long as we can afford it, sometimes it's fish or coral, computers,guns,cars we support each other in many things we do and that's the way it should be. I don't understand how anyone can live with being told what they can and can't do, that's not a marriage that's a dictatorship and that's no life for me

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Unread 04/21/2017, 05:12 AM   #9
Ron Reefman
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Ian, you need to find a way to get her involved. Take her to the LFS and let her pick out a new fish or some other critter.

Fortunately for me, my wife loves to snorkel even more than I do, and I can't get enough of it. So 12 years ago we were at a garage sale and I talked her into letting me buy a 30g tank with a metal stand. That has evolved into a 125g mixed reef with a 50g display refugium in the great room and a 65g shallow local reef and a 25g frag tank in the reefroom (a spare bedroom). She still isn't crazy about them, but she enjoys them. And I let her turn our entire yard (back and front) into sub-tropical rain forest which she maintains. I cut the grass the first Monday after I moved in with her. She came home from work and told me that was her exercise and she wanted to cut the grass. I haven't cut the grass since (15 years) and she averages 3 to 5 hours a week maintaining the other plants and trees.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 05:21 AM   #10
fishkeeprian
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron Reefman View Post
Ian, you need to find a way to get her involved. Take her to the LFS and let her pick out a new fish or some other critter.

Fortunately for me, my wife loves to snorkel even more than I do, and I can't get enough of it. So 12 years ago we were at a garage sale and I talked her into letting me buy a 30g tank with a metal stand. That has evolved into a 125g mixed reef with a 50g display refugium in the great room and a 65g shallow local reef and a 25g frag tank in the reefroom (a spare bedroom). She still isn't crazy about them, but she enjoys them. And I let her turn our entire yard (back and front) into sub-tropical rain forest which she maintains. I cut the grass the first Monday after I moved in with her. She came home from work and told me that was her exercise and she wanted to cut the grass. I haven't cut the grass since (15 years) and she averages 3 to 5 hours a week maintaining the other plants and trees.
Ive tried Ron, she doesn't think owning a reef is a very manly hobbie to have. She just sees it as a money pit, and moans constantly about my equipment, water change buckets etc.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 05:21 AM   #11
A sea K
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron Reefman View Post
Ian, you need to find a way to get her involved. Take her to the LFS and let her pick out a new fish or some other critter.
This is a great idea but be forewarned, every fish my wife picks out to go in the tank has been totally inappropriate for my system which makes things much worse when you have to say no to any (all) of her suggestions.


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Current Tank Info: 30gal Deep Blue rimless 9/10/2014, 80gal Deep Blue rimless 40gal sump/refugium 9/11/16 LPS reef, 2 x Kessil A160 with a single Maxspect Razor, RO Prime 150INT skimmer, Sicce 3 return pump, Vortech MP40 and MP10
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Unread 04/21/2017, 05:28 AM   #12
SFish
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron Reefman View Post
Ian, you need to find a way to get her involved. Take her to the LFS and let her pick out a new fish.
I tried that. My wife wants a Yellow Tang I told her the tank isn't big enough (it's a 75gal) then her response was so buy the fish and get rid of it when it gets to big ; (



Last edited by SFish; 04/21/2017 at 05:39 AM.
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Unread 04/21/2017, 05:38 AM   #13
SFish
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fishkeeprian View Post
Moan Moan Moan, that’s all I get these days!

How much did that’s cost?, why you doing that?, Your obsessed the list goes on!

Who else struggles with the other half and their tank?


Wife or tank?
Mine just wants to know the total cost to build the tank and when I will be done. I wouldn't dare price out the cost of all the parts. I just get stuff here and there when I can which I don't have a problem with. It makes the build take forever. This is not a cheap hobby. I'm sure it will be fun when I buy the skimmer and LEDs. If my wife was getting mad or something then I would look for a small used tank or something and give up the one I'm building.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 05:55 AM   #14
bobt2
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I guess I,m lucky, if I,m happy, she is. I never get asked costs.i also don,t ask her what something costs.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 06:02 AM   #15
JustinM
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Yep, my wife is the one that spends the money on our tanks. She has a wrasse addiction and they aren't cheap.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 06:26 AM   #16
BonesCJ
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My wife is the one who got me into the hobby, and she's worse than I am when it comes to frag shopping :-D


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Unread 04/21/2017, 07:05 AM   #17
JWClark
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SFish View Post
I tried that. My wife wants a Yellow Tang I told her the tank isn't big enough (it's a 75gal) then her response was so buy the fish and get rid of it when it gets to big ; (
Funny. My wife always wants a yellow tang too but I think they are a little boring. She also likes the yellow coris wrasse. May get one for her in my 450 revamp.

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I guess I,m lucky, if I,m happy, she is. I never get asked costs.i also don,t ask her what something costs.
Same here. She doesn't like the amount I spend but doesn't really pay attention. She started buying jewelry when she started working again so I think that is her coping mechanism--and I never question. Making enough to not have to reef on a shoestring helps A LOT.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 07:07 AM   #18
billdogg
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When we first met, my wife was just sorta ok with it all. Then I took her to the LFS. That helped, although like others, I spent a lot of time explaining why this or that just was not right for what we have. Then I took her to a swap. I told her to walk around to get an idea of what she liked. After spending a hour or so eyeballing every frag there, I asked her what she wanted to get. Her reply? "Everything!"

That, my friend, is how to get her hooked.

If she had her way, I would be getting rid of my mothers antique hutch and dining room table - both well over 100yo, and replacing them with tanks.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 07:24 AM   #19
TYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron Reefman View Post
Ian, you need to find a way to get her involved. Take her to the LFS and let her pick out a new fish or some other critter.

Fortunately for me, my wife loves to snorkel even more than I do, and I can't get enough of it. So 12 years ago we were at a garage sale and I talked her into letting me buy a 30g tank with a metal stand. That has evolved into a 125g mixed reef with a 50g display refugium in the great room and a 65g shallow local reef and a 25g frag tank in the reefroom (a spare bedroom). She still isn't crazy about them, but she enjoys them. And I let her turn our entire yard (back and front) into sub-tropical rain forest which she maintains. I cut the grass the first Monday after I moved in with her. She came home from work and told me that was her exercise and she wanted to cut the grass. I haven't cut the grass since (15 years) and she averages 3 to 5 hours a week maintaining the other plants and trees.
Hey Ron, can your wife talk with mine?...you are one lucky fella! LOL!!!


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Unread 04/21/2017, 07:25 AM   #20
fishkeeprian
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It seems you guys have struck Gold. Maybe be coming over to the States to look for a new wife.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 07:25 AM   #21
MrDemonicAngel
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My wife likes the tank but hates spending money on it.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 07:44 AM   #22
sde1500
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Got to find some sort of happy medium. My wife likes the tank, but does think I've spent too much on it. So currently on a hiatus from spending anything. Skipped the big local frag swap this year to save a bit. Its about compromise, you both should be happy together, and also have your own hobbies. Just resenting the others hobby isn't healthy. But I'd be interested to hear the other side of this. Because the post being "Wife or tank" kinda sounds like there isn't much compromise going on.


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Unread 04/21/2017, 07:52 AM   #23
RadagastWizard
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Tank everyday and twice on sundays


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Unread 04/21/2017, 08:05 AM   #24
boyohboy2
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Would it work to simply budget twice as much for everything you're going to buy? 1 part of the budget goes to actually buy your thing, the other part goes to buying something for your wife.

Just the cost of doing business... hum doing hobby... I guess


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Unread 04/21/2017, 08:06 AM   #25
J2T
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A sea K View Post
My wife likes our tank and as a result does not have any issues with how or what I spend to keep it up and running. As far as $100 dollar frags go, I have an issue with that myself so I'm not really a care free spender anyway.

Now, if she did take issue with it and I had to decide between her or the tank, that would be an easy decision to make but tough to carry out.
Funny my wife is kind of similar...I mean I try and save money wherever I can but there are limits in my mind. Honestly when my wife goes with me to the stores we end up spending more because she likes stuff lol.

I basically try and not keep track of how much is spent because I think that would drive me over the edge lol


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