Reef Tank or Wife - Page 2

thelawnwrangler · 04/21/2017, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fishkeeprian

Moan Moan Moan, that’s all I get these days!

How much did that’s cost?, why you doing that?, Your obsessed the list goes on!

Who else struggles with the other half and their tank?

Wife or tank?

We have separate accounts so that helps a lot. Not that she can't know the number. It just helps to not know what each other is spending on their stupid ideas lol

How does the tank fit in with the budget? If you are hitting your savings and retirment- consider having family fun account, and personal fun accounts. I would separate the personal fun money, and if you save up your allowance should be non-issue

Cheeselady · 04/21/2017, 08:12 AM

How about reef tank or husband? Us ladies can have a reef habit to ya know!

But yeah I just don't mention to my husband how much I spend..... He claims not to care about the tanks but I still catch him checking out the tank on a regular basis.

MurphyLong · 04/21/2017, 08:14 AM

My wife is an awesome sport about it, the only part of it she ever gets annoyed with is when I leave buckets on the front porch, or in the hallway near the tank. She's a little OCD about cleanliness, which comes in handy because she'll wipe up salt creep every day with a wet paper towel.
She has never said anything about what I spend on it, but she has asked me why I didn't get certain fish/corals, and I'll explain how much people sell them for, and we're usually on the same page. I won't pay more than $40/fish/frag. That works for me, because I am back in a smaller tank, that will only be home to some clowns, anemone, Starry Blenny, a scooter, and some coral. Once this tank is fairly established, I'd like to setup a nice long and shallow tank in our family room, and she's perfectly okay with that.

thelawnwrangler · 04/21/2017, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MurphyLong

My wife is an awesome sport about it, the only part of it she ever gets annoyed with is when I leave buckets on the front porch, or in the hallway near the tank. She's a little OCD about cleanliness, which comes in handy because she'll wipe up salt creep every day with a wet paper towel.
She has never said anything about what I spend on it, but she has asked me why I didn't get certain fish/corals, and I'll explain how much people sell them for, and we're usually on the same page. I won't pay more than $40/fish/frag. That works for me, because I am back in a smaller tank, that will only be home to some clowns, anemone, Starry Blenny, a scooter, and some coral. Once this tank is fairly established, I'd like to setup a nice long and shallow tank in our family room, and she's perfectly okay with that.

I am so cheap- I hate when I lose livestock- couldn't imagine if it was expensive on top of that.

Also I like the cheap soft and lps coral that move.

Also watching them grow is kind of my last joy after everything is started and running.

Tisbe · 04/21/2017, 08:46 AM

I don't have a wife anymore, the long term girl however grew up jumping horses. For her, this hobby is cheap compared to hers. She wants to get back into the ponies and let me tell you, I can set up a full blown reef will all the trimmings for what it would/will cost her to that for just one year. I'm lucky that she does enjoy watching the corals grow and can spot a pest on a frag from a mile away. She also gives me an earful if I slack on the tank maintenance so a happy tank equals a happy GF.

Xandernfs · 04/21/2017, 09:06 AM

I'm in a similar situation as thelawnranger as we have different accounts. We have 3: hers, mine, and ours. Luckily she has the 'if you're going to do it, do it right' mentality so that makes a little easier. I always make an attempt to get her involved and this way she has investment as well. But this hobby can easily be a money pit.

AnnaCassandra · 04/21/2017, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheeselady

How about reef tank or husband? Us ladies can have a reef habit to ya know!

Agreed! I am the wife and though we are both interested in the tank and choose new livestock additions together, I do most of the spending on the "stuff", I also keep track of all our finances so he actually has no idea how much $$ has gone into the tank.

wicz101 · 04/21/2017, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robbous

my reef tank :-) let's just say i wouldn't be owning a 500 gallon system and turned a dining room into the fish tank room if i was married. I'll never be told what i can do again!

amen brother!

Sk8r · 04/21/2017, 09:19 AM

Setting up---you might as well sit down and budget your expenses: it is a phase, and it WILL cost what it costs. As a tank matures, you spend less unless you didn't buy what you should have during the first phase.
Once you're beyond that, ideally you don't run a roach motel for fishes and inverts. You concentrate on husbandry and grow-out. Maybe you should take to the bar, give her dinner and drinks, and lay out where expense will end and the direction the tank will take.

davehead86 · 04/21/2017, 10:15 AM

My wife hates the cost but loves the outcome. Her reply to other people about my hobby is that I could be out drinking all night at the bar, at least this way shes knows where I am. The LFS or home in the sump room. lol

VegasMike · 04/21/2017, 10:54 AM

I am hust lucky to be in a situation where I don't ask her much about what she buys and she does the same with the tanks.

She actually convinced me to buy the current house we are in by pointing out that two 240 tanks would look nice on either side of the living room fireplace. She got the house she wanted and I got my tanks.

The last house we had in Las Vegas she convinced me to do an addition for a baby nursery and that it would be a great place for the 450 gallon tank/fishroom I wanted.

I almost took the tanks down a year ago as I was having trouble. She was the one who talked me into a restart and it has gone great.

She's a keeper.

jgln · 04/21/2017, 12:05 PM

Post a picture...and while you're at it throw in one of the tank too.

homer1475 · 04/21/2017, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davehead86

My wife hates the cost but loves the outcome. Her reply to other people about my hobby is that I could be out drinking all night at the bar, at least this way shes knows where I am. The LFS or home in the sump room. lol

My wife is the same way. I could be spending it on something else, at least this hobby keeps me home at night.

Tooboot · 04/21/2017, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fishkeeprian

Moan Moan Moan, that’s all I get these days!

How much did that’s cost?, why you doing that?, Your obsessed the list goes on!

Who else struggles with the other half and their tank?

Wife or tank?

I have stuff shipped to the office, then add it to the tank at night while she sleeps.

ca1ore · 04/21/2017, 12:47 PM

Between wives .... still got the big tank!

Ron Reefman · 04/21/2017, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TYC

Hey Ron, can your wife talk with mine?

...you are one lucky fella! LOL!!!

Well, you have to understand, she is my 3rd wife and I'm her 3rd husband. We dated for a year, lived together for 3 years and have been married for 12 on the 4th of July. And in all that time we haven't had even one vocal disagreement, let alone a fight! We just fit together.

Tooboot · 04/21/2017, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron Reefman

Well, you have to understand, she is my 3rd wife and I'm her 3rd husband. We dated for a year, lived together for 3 years and have been married for 12 on the 4th of July. And in all that time we haven't had even one vocal disagreement, let alone a fight! We just fit together.

trial and error, oldest but most reliable method. just like reefing it can be costly too. lol

Sonyardo · 04/21/2017, 05:41 PM

It almost sounded to me like she was giving you the go ahead for a larger tank. Then She can have the fish in it that she likes. Win/Win.

I would choose the Wife over the tank any day. However, I would have a problem with anybody that put me in a position to make a decision like that. Now if she's the primary bread winner and your ****ing away her earning and working part time at walmart. Then she might as well kick your lazy arse out

The point is that there is always two sides to a story.

zsuman101 · 04/21/2017, 05:59 PM

lm still on the fence ... lets see ... shes jealous of my reef tanks, hmm ok. shes jealous of my guitars ,.. hmm not ok. i have found that if i keep telling her that she is still my favorite toy she leaves me be. but its getting tougher to convince her of that when i sit in front of my zeo reef playin da blues while she is trying to watch the hallmark channel....zsu

Joe0813 · 04/21/2017, 06:07 PM

I also got lucky.. my fiancé loves the tank just as much as I do

ThRoewer · 04/21/2017, 06:13 PM

While I was single I had an empty 20 long in the garage, but never filled it.
Then I got married and my wife suggested to set it up because it would be good for feng shui. What she didn't knew then was that tanks have the habit of growing and multiplying like rabbits: that one 20 gallon freshwater tank produced 6 more saltwater tanks between 100 and 20 gallons (not counting refugia, QTs or food cultures).

So while she is sometimes complaining I can always respond "it was your idea"

monkeysee1 · 04/21/2017, 06:32 PM

I guess that in our household, I have the OPPOSITE problem of most of my fellow posters here!
I'M the one who introduced the idea of a fish tank for a hobby to do together. Hubby likes our tank, but not nearly as much as I do!!
If I had my way, there'd be a 900 Gallon IN WALL tank in our house, never mind a stand alone 90!!!
My hubby always asks: " Why? We have only a frigging 1000 square foot house!!"
Lol!!

burgerchow1 · 04/21/2017, 06:35 PM

why is it do you think that most reefers or aquarists are male?

to me, it's because men always still feel a need to take care of beautiful things.

after 2 trophy ex wives, I've still got my saltwater reefs, my African cichlid tank, and my turtle tank. Already told current gf that not going to marry again.

I think I know why I like my tanks so much. Tanks are beautiful, but

DON'T TALK BACK!!! LOL

burgerchow1 · 04/21/2017, 06:44 PM

[QUOTE=boyohboy2;25055590]Would it work to simply budget twice as much for everything you're going to buy? 1 part of the budget goes to actually buy your thing, the other part goes to buying something for your wife.

Just the cost of doing business... hum doing hobby... I guess[/QU\

this is my cheapest hobby compared to my other ones.

you think you are hurting cause you got to buy something for the wife, wait til you go to the casino often, and you had a bad night and lost a few grand, and go home and the wife asks how you did.

" oh, I won a grand, " and you give her 2 or 3 hundred for lucky money. Talk about putting salt on the wound. LOL

Cheeselady · 04/21/2017, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burgerchow1

why is it do you think that most reefers or aquarists are male?

That's a good question, and something I've wondered myself.

It's been my observation that many hobbies are dominated by men.

Cars, brewing, fish, trains, model planes, etc.

I'm curious why more women aren't getting into these things.

04/21/2017, 09:19 AM	#34
Sk8r RC Mod Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Spokane WA Posts: 34,628 Blog Entries: 55	Setting up---you might as well sit down and budget your expenses: it is a phase, and it WILL cost what it costs. As a tank matures, you spend less unless you didn't buy what you should have during the first phase. Once you're beyond that, ideally you don't run a roach motel for fishes and inverts. You concentrate on husbandry and grow-out. Maybe you should take to the bar, give her dinner and drinks, and lay out where expense will end and the direction the tank will take. __________________ Sk8r Salinity 1.024-6; alkalinity 8.3-9.3 on KH scale; calcium 420; magnesium 1300, temp 78-80, nitrate .2. Ammonia 0. No filters: lps tank. Alk and cal won't rise if mg is low. Current Tank Info: 105g AquaVim wedge, yellow tang, sailfin blenny,royal gramma, ocellaris clown pair, yellow watchman, 100 microceriths, 25 tiny hermits, a 4" conch, 1" nassarius, recovering from 2 year hiatus with daily water change of 10%.

04/21/2017, 10:15 AM	#35
davehead86 Registered Member Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Monticello, IL Posts: 819	My wife hates the cost but loves the outcome. Her reply to other people about my hobby is that I could be out drinking all night at the bar, at least this way shes knows where I am. The LFS or home in the sump room. lol __________________ My build thread http://www.reefcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?p=24225945#post24225945 Current Tank: 65 Gallon Mixed Reef\| 40B Sump\| 2 Radion Gen 3's\| 2 MP10wes\| Vectra M1 \| Reefkeeper Lite

04/21/2017, 12:05 PM	#37
jgln Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Pedricktown,NJ Posts: 555	Post a picture...and while you're at it throw in one of the tank too. __________________ Jim Current Tank Info: 125g reef with 30g sump/fuge

04/21/2017, 12:47 PM	#40
ca1ore Grizzled & Cynical Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Stamford, CT Posts: 17,319	Between wives .... still got the big tank! __________________ Simon Got back into the hobby ..... planned to keep it simple ..... yeah, right ..... clearly I need a new plan! Pet peeve: anemones host clowns; clowns do not host anemones! Current Tank Info: 450 Reef; 120 refugium; 60 Frag Tank, 30 Introduction tank; multiple QTs

04/21/2017, 05:59 PM	#44
zsuman101 Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 434	lm still on the fence ... lets see ... shes jealous of my reef tanks, hmm ok. shes jealous of my guitars ,.. hmm not ok. i have found that if i keep telling her that she is still my favorite toy she leaves me be. but its getting tougher to convince her of that when i sit in front of my zeo reef playin da blues while she is trying to watch the hallmark channel....zsu __________________ Full zeovit 24x24 starfire ati t5 radions ecotech and sicce pumps tunze skimmer apex gold yeah its nuts

04/21/2017, 08:12 AM	#27
Cheeselady Registered Member Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 66	How about reef tank or husband? Us ladies can have a reef habit to ya know! But yeah I just don't mention to my husband how much I spend..... He claims not to care about the tanks but I still catch him checking out the tank on a regular basis.

04/21/2017, 08:14 AM	#28
MurphyLong HMFIC Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Eastern NC Posts: 331	My wife is an awesome sport about it, the only part of it she ever gets annoyed with is when I leave buckets on the front porch, or in the hallway near the tank. She's a little OCD about cleanliness, which comes in handy because she'll wipe up salt creep every day with a wet paper towel. She has never said anything about what I spend on it, but she has asked me why I didn't get certain fish/corals, and I'll explain how much people sell them for, and we're usually on the same page. I won't pay more than $40/fish/frag. That works for me, because I am back in a smaller tank, that will only be home to some clowns, anemone, Starry Blenny, a scooter, and some coral. Once this tank is fairly established, I'd like to setup a nice long and shallow tank in our family room, and she's perfectly okay with that.

04/21/2017, 08:46 AM	#30
Tisbe Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2016 Location: Coeur D Alene, Idaho Posts: 170	I don't have a wife anymore, the long term girl however grew up jumping horses. For her, this hobby is cheap compared to hers. She wants to get back into the ponies and let me tell you, I can set up a full blown reef will all the trimmings for what it would/will cost her to that for just one year. I'm lucky that she does enjoy watching the corals grow and can spot a pest on a frag from a mile away. She also gives me an earful if I slack on the tank maintenance so a happy tank equals a happy GF.

04/21/2017, 09:06 AM	#31
Xandernfs Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: STL Posts: 730	I'm in a similar situation as thelawnranger as we have different accounts. We have 3: hers, mine, and ours. Luckily she has the 'if you're going to do it, do it right' mentality so that makes a little easier. I always make an attempt to get her involved and this way she has investment as well. But this hobby can easily be a money pit.

04/21/2017, 10:54 AM	#36
VegasMike Registered Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 1,556	I am hust lucky to be in a situation where I don't ask her much about what she buys and she does the same with the tanks. She actually convinced me to buy the current house we are in by pointing out that two 240 tanks would look nice on either side of the living room fireplace. She got the house she wanted and I got my tanks. The last house we had in Las Vegas she convinced me to do an addition for a baby nursery and that it would be a great place for the 450 gallon tank/fishroom I wanted. I almost took the tanks down a year ago as I was having trouble. She was the one who talked me into a restart and it has gone great. She's a keeper.

04/21/2017, 05:41 PM	#43
Sonyardo Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: OC California Posts: 522	It almost sounded to me like she was giving you the go ahead for a larger tank. Then She can have the fish in it that she likes. Win/Win. I would choose the Wife over the tank any day. However, I would have a problem with anybody that put me in a position to make a decision like that. Now if she's the primary bread winner and your ****ing away her earning and working part time at walmart. Then she might as well kick your lazy arse out The point is that there is always two sides to a story.

04/21/2017, 06:07 PM	#45
Joe0813 Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Boston strong Posts: 2,766	I also got lucky.. my fiancé loves the tank just as much as I do __________________ Joe and Jenny Current Tank Info: 180 reef

04/21/2017, 06:13 PM	#46
ThRoewer Registered Member Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Fremont, CA Posts: 9,555	While I was single I had an empty 20 long in the garage, but never filled it. Then I got married and my wife suggested to set it up because it would be good for feng shui. What she didn't knew then was that tanks have the habit of growing and multiplying like rabbits: that one 20 gallon freshwater tank produced 6 more saltwater tanks between 100 and 20 gallons (not counting refugia, QTs or food cultures). So while she is sometimes complaining I can always respond "it was your idea" __________________ Pairs: 4 percula, 3 P. kauderni, 3 D. excisus, 1 ea of P. diacanthus, S. splendidus, C. altivelis O. rosenblatti, D. janssi, S. yasha & a Gramma loreto trio 3 P. diacanthus. 2 C. starcki Current Tank Info: 200 gal 4 tank system (40x28x24 + 40B + 40B sump tank + 20g refugium) + 30x18x18 mixed reef + 20g East Pacific biotop + 20g FW +...

04/21/2017, 06:32 PM	#47
monkeysee1 Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2015 Location: MERRIMACK NH Posts: 423	I guess that in our household, I have the OPPOSITE problem of most of my fellow posters here! I'M the one who introduced the idea of a fish tank for a hobby to do together. Hubby likes our tank, but not nearly as much as I do!! If I had my way, there'd be a 900 Gallon IN WALL tank in our house, never mind a stand alone 90!!! My hubby always asks: " Why? We have only a frigging 1000 square foot house!!" Lol!! __________________ Your "fair share" is not in my wallet; it's in my fish tank!! Current tank info: 90 Gallon saltwater 10 fish with a few inverts; NO CORALS! Tried to go reef; didn't work out so hot; FOWLR's for me! Last edited by monkeysee1; 04/21/2017 at 07:16 PM.

04/21/2017, 06:35 PM	#48
burgerchow1 Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: vancouver bc canada Posts: 24	why is it do you think that most reefers or aquarists are male? to me, it's because men always still feel a need to take care of beautiful things. after 2 trophy ex wives, I've still got my saltwater reefs, my African cichlid tank, and my turtle tank. Already told current gf that not going to marry again. I think I know why I like my tanks so much. Tanks are beautiful, but DON'T TALK BACK!!! LOL

04/21/2017, 06:44 PM	#49
burgerchow1 Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: vancouver bc canada Posts: 24	[QUOTE=boyohboy2;25055590]Would it work to simply budget twice as much for everything you're going to buy? 1 part of the budget goes to actually buy your thing, the other part goes to buying something for your wife. Just the cost of doing business... hum doing hobby... I guess[/QU\ this is my cheapest hobby compared to my other ones. you think you are hurting cause you got to buy something for the wife, wait til you go to the casino often, and you had a bad night and lost a few grand, and go home and the wife asks how you did. " oh, I won a grand, " and you give her 2 or 3 hundred for lucky money. Talk about putting salt on the wound. LOL