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Old 04/21/2017, 09:06 AM   #26
thelawnwrangler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fishkeeprian View Post
Moan Moan Moan, thatís all I get these days!

How much did thatís cost?, why you doing that?, Your obsessed the list goes on!

Who else struggles with the other half and their tank?


Wife or tank?
We have separate accounts so that helps a lot. Not that she can't know the number. It just helps to not know what each other is spending on their stupid ideas lol

How does the tank fit in with the budget? If you are hitting your savings and retirment- consider having family fun account, and personal fun accounts. I would separate the personal fun money, and if you save up your allowance should be non-issue


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Old 04/21/2017, 09:12 AM   #27
Cheeselady
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How about reef tank or husband? Us ladies can have a reef habit to ya know!



But yeah I just don't mention to my husband how much I spend..... He claims not to care about the tanks but I still catch him checking out the tank on a regular basis.


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Old 04/21/2017, 09:14 AM   #28
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My wife is an awesome sport about it, the only part of it she ever gets annoyed with is when I leave buckets on the front porch, or in the hallway near the tank. She's a little OCD about cleanliness, which comes in handy because she'll wipe up salt creep every day with a wet paper towel.
She has never said anything about what I spend on it, but she has asked me why I didn't get certain fish/corals, and I'll explain how much people sell them for, and we're usually on the same page. I won't pay more than $40/fish/frag. That works for me, because I am back in a smaller tank, that will only be home to some clowns, anemone, Starry Blenny, a scooter, and some coral. Once this tank is fairly established, I'd like to setup a nice long and shallow tank in our family room, and she's perfectly okay with that.


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Old 04/21/2017, 09:19 AM   #29
thelawnwrangler
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Originally Posted by MurphyLong View Post
My wife is an awesome sport about it, the only part of it she ever gets annoyed with is when I leave buckets on the front porch, or in the hallway near the tank. She's a little OCD about cleanliness, which comes in handy because she'll wipe up salt creep every day with a wet paper towel.
She has never said anything about what I spend on it, but she has asked me why I didn't get certain fish/corals, and I'll explain how much people sell them for, and we're usually on the same page. I won't pay more than $40/fish/frag. That works for me, because I am back in a smaller tank, that will only be home to some clowns, anemone, Starry Blenny, a scooter, and some coral. Once this tank is fairly established, I'd like to setup a nice long and shallow tank in our family room, and she's perfectly okay with that.
I am so cheap- I hate when I lose livestock- couldn't imagine if it was expensive on top of that.

Also I like the cheap soft and lps coral that move.

Also watching them grow is kind of my last joy after everything is started and running.


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Old 04/21/2017, 09:46 AM   #30
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I don't have a wife anymore, the long term girl however grew up jumping horses. For her, this hobby is cheap compared to hers. She wants to get back into the ponies and let me tell you, I can set up a full blown reef will all the trimmings for what it would/will cost her to that for just one year. I'm lucky that she does enjoy watching the corals grow and can spot a pest on a frag from a mile away. She also gives me an earful if I slack on the tank maintenance so a happy tank equals a happy GF.


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Old 04/21/2017, 10:06 AM   #31
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I'm in a similar situation as thelawnranger as we have different accounts. We have 3: hers, mine, and ours. Luckily she has the 'if you're going to do it, do it right' mentality so that makes a little easier. I always make an attempt to get her involved and this way she has investment as well. But this hobby can easily be a money pit.


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Old 04/21/2017, 10:12 AM   #32
AnnaCassandra
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheeselady View Post
How about reef tank or husband? Us ladies can have a reef habit to ya know!
Agreed! I am the wife and though we are both interested in the tank and choose new livestock additions together, I do most of the spending on the "stuff", I also keep track of all our finances so he actually has no idea how much $$ has gone into the tank.


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Old 04/21/2017, 10:15 AM   #33
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my reef tank :-) let's just say i wouldn't be owning a 500 gallon system and turned a dining room into the fish tank room if i was married. I'll never be told what i can do again!
amen brother!


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Old 04/21/2017, 10:19 AM   #34
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Setting up---you might as well sit down and budget your expenses: it is a phase, and it WILL cost what it costs. As a tank matures, you spend less unless you didn't buy what you should have during the first phase.
Once you're beyond that, ideally you don't run a roach motel for fishes and inverts. You concentrate on husbandry and grow-out. Maybe you should take to the bar, give her dinner and drinks, and lay out where expense will end and the direction the tank will take.


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Current Tank Info: 105g AquaVim wedge lps reef: 3 firefish, yellowhead jawfish, yellow watchman, 3 chromis, tailspot/starry blennies, pink margin fairy wrasse, mandarin, kalk, radion pro, gyre, Eshopps s-200 skimmer, basement sump.
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Old 04/21/2017, 11:15 AM   #35
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My wife hates the cost but loves the outcome. Her reply to other people about my hobby is that I could be out drinking all night at the bar, at least this way shes knows where I am. The LFS or home in the sump room. lol


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Old 04/21/2017, 11:54 AM   #36
VegasMike
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I am hust lucky to be in a situation where I don't ask her much about what she buys and she does the same with the tanks.

She actually convinced me to buy the current house we are in by pointing out that two 240 tanks would look nice on either side of the living room fireplace. She got the house she wanted and I got my tanks.

The last house we had in Las Vegas she convinced me to do an addition for a baby nursery and that it would be a great place for the 450 gallon tank/fishroom I wanted.

I almost took the tanks down a year ago as I was having trouble. She was the one who talked me into a restart and it has gone great.

She's a keeper.


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Old 04/21/2017, 01:05 PM   #37
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Post a picture...and while you're at it throw in one of the tank too.


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Old 04/21/2017, 01:09 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by davehead86 View Post
My wife hates the cost but loves the outcome. Her reply to other people about my hobby is that I could be out drinking all night at the bar, at least this way shes knows where I am. The LFS or home in the sump room. lol
My wife is the same way. I could be spending it on something else, at least this hobby keeps me home at night.


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Old 04/21/2017, 01:45 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fishkeeprian View Post
Moan Moan Moan, thatís all I get these days!

How much did thatís cost?, why you doing that?, Your obsessed the list goes on!

Who else struggles with the other half and their tank?


Wife or tank?
I have stuff shipped to the office, then add it to the tank at night while she sleeps.


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Old 04/21/2017, 01:47 PM   #40
ca1ore
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Between wives .... still got the big tank!


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Got back into the hobby ..... planned to keep it simple ..... yeah, right ..... clearly I need a new plan! Pet peeve: anemones host clowns; clowns do not host anemones!

Current Tank Info: 450 Reef; 120 refugium; 60 Frag Tank, 30 Introduction tank; multiple QTs
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Old 04/21/2017, 02:06 PM   #41
Ron Reefman
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Hey Ron, can your wife talk with mine?...you are one lucky fella! LOL!!!
Well, you have to understand, she is my 3rd wife and I'm her 3rd husband. We dated for a year, lived together for 3 years and have been married for 12 on the 4th of July. And in all that time we haven't had even one vocal disagreement, let alone a fight! We just fit together.


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Old 04/21/2017, 03:17 PM   #42
Tooboot
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Well, you have to understand, she is my 3rd wife and I'm her 3rd husband. We dated for a year, lived together for 3 years and have been married for 12 on the 4th of July. And in all that time we haven't had even one vocal disagreement, let alone a fight! We just fit together.
trial and error, oldest but most reliable method. just like reefing it can be costly too. lol


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Old 04/21/2017, 06:41 PM   #43
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It almost sounded to me like she was giving you the go ahead for a larger tank. Then She can have the fish in it that she likes. Win/Win.

I would choose the Wife over the tank any day. However, I would have a problem with anybody that put me in a position to make a decision like that. Now if she's the primary bread winner and your ****ing away her earning and working part time at walmart. Then she might as well kick your lazy arse out

The point is that there is always two sides to a story.


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Old 04/21/2017, 06:59 PM   #44
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lm still on the fence ... lets see ... shes jealous of my reef tanks, hmm ok. shes jealous of my guitars ,.. hmm not ok. i have found that if i keep telling her that she is still my favorite toy she leaves me be. but its getting tougher to convince her of that when i sit in front of my zeo reef playin da blues while she is trying to watch the hallmark channel....zsu


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Old 04/21/2017, 07:07 PM   #45
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I also got lucky.. my fiancť loves the tank just as much as I do


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Old 04/21/2017, 07:13 PM   #46
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While I was single I had an empty 20 long in the garage, but never filled it.
Then I got married and my wife suggested to set it up because it would be good for feng shui. What she didn't knew then was that tanks have the habit of growing and multiplying like rabbits: that one 20 gallon freshwater tank produced 6 more saltwater tanks between 100 and 20 gallons (not counting refugia, QTs or food cultures).

So while she is sometimes complaining I can always respond "it was your idea"


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Old 04/21/2017, 07:32 PM   #47
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Talking

I guess that in our household, I have the OPPOSITE problem of most of my fellow posters here!
I'M the one who introduced the idea of a fish tank for a hobby to do together. Hubby likes our tank, but not nearly as much as I do!!
If I had my way, there'd be a 900 Gallon IN WALL tank in our house, never mind a stand alone 90!!!
My hubby always asks: " Why? We have only a frigging 1000 square foot house!!"
Lol!!



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Old 04/21/2017, 07:35 PM   #48
burgerchow1
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why is it do you think that most reefers or aquarists are male?

to me, it's because men always still feel a need to take care of beautiful things.

after 2 trophy ex wives, I've still got my saltwater reefs, my African cichlid tank, and my turtle tank. Already told current gf that not going to marry again.

I think I know why I like my tanks so much. Tanks are beautiful, but

DON'T TALK BACK!!! LOL


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Old 04/21/2017, 07:44 PM   #49
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[QUOTE=boyohboy2;25055590]Would it work to simply budget twice as much for everything you're going to buy? 1 part of the budget goes to actually buy your thing, the other part goes to buying something for your wife.

Just the cost of doing business... hum doing hobby... I guess[/QU\


this is my cheapest hobby compared to my other ones.

you think you are hurting cause you got to buy something for the wife, wait til you go to the casino often, and you had a bad night and lost a few grand, and go home and the wife asks how you did.

" oh, I won a grand, " and you give her 2 or 3 hundred for lucky money. Talk about putting salt on the wound. LOL


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Old 04/21/2017, 09:03 PM   #50
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why is it do you think that most reefers or aquarists are male?
That's a good question, and something I've wondered myself.

It's been my observation that many hobbies are dominated by men.

Cars, brewing, fish, trains, model planes, etc.

I'm curious why more women aren't getting into these things.


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